Being Meyera Oberndorf’s “confidante,” as Kerry Dougherty over-described me in The Virginian-Pilot, did have its perks. It gave me access not just to what was happening in her unique life, and how she somehow managed to keep it altogether, but also what it took to be a political survivor in a city that was used to not having a mayor for four consecutive years, much less five consecutive terms.
Meyera Ellenson Oberndorf and I shared a common past in Newport News. The Ellensons lived in Christopher Shores, just off Wickham Avenue. My grandfather and my mother’s brothers and sister lived close by with their families. We all went to the same synagogue for the holidays and ate the same rye bread, Brenners, one of the products that came from the bakery Hyman Brenner, my grandfather, started downtown on 28th Street before World War II.
When I came to Hampton Roads in 1975, Meyera had just lost her first election but was gearing up for her second run, this one a successful attempt for Virginia Beach City Council. She was there for 32 years, 20 as mayor.
Here are a few experiences I had, either covering Meyera until I left WAVY TV in 1991, or working, or “advising” her subsequently, and what I took away.
Let Others Take the Glory – Paul Fraim, who I like a lot, seems to be in the middle of every deal that takes place in Norfolk. That was not Meyera’s style or expertise. She appointed others to do the dealing but kept a close eye on the negotiations.
In the early 90’s, I was hired to consult with the City and their law firm on the Lake Gaston pipeline project, specifically related to potential General Assembly action and then on efforts by Norfolk regarding whether Virginia Beach could continue instead to buy all the water it needed from that city. Only two councilmembers could ever be in a room together for a meeting so Meyera had to wait in her office while Louis Jones and John Baum huddled with the staff-driven “water task force.” She would praise those two for their efforts, even though in the end, the media made Lake Gaston one of her achievements. She knew.
Be Everywhere – I’m sitting on the lawn at the Amphitheater, waiting for the Allman Brothers show to start, and I spy Roger and Meyera walking down to some seats. I walk up to them and say, “What are you doing here?” “Someone gave us free tickets,” they respond. While most politicians would take a night off from governing, Meyera (and Roger) never missed an opportunity to be where everyone else was. That’s why they never had to raise much money or litter the streets with signs. She had done her campaigning in the four years between elections, buying votes with her feet, time and personality.
Be Humble, Listen to Others – Meyera was one of my favorite clients because she listened to good ideas and adopted them if they made sense. One was our suggestion that she use the 2000 campaign to suggest the city take the lead locally, if not nationally, in ramping up internet interaction with citizens, first by changing the url from www.virginia.beach.va.us to www.vbgov.com. (Yes, Rubin Communications Group owned that name before “gifting” it to the city).
Meyera could not turn on a computer back then and the news conference we had at the central library (which today bears her name) to promote the initiative was a bit comical in that respect. But after the election, vbgov.com became a reality, and Meyera was invited to a major conference in Denver to talk about it. (I think she took the city’s communications director with her to fill in the details.)
Be Nervous But Be Confident – Meyera was always a wreck during elections, including the two in which I handled marketing and communications. In 1992, she had to take on Reba McClanan, a fellow councilmember, but also Mark Bailey, who several businessmen, upset over Meyera’s vote not to rezone Lake Ridge for housing, put forward. She won, but it was close. In 2000, it was even tighter as Meyera battled three candidates, including Glenn Corey, a former TV news anchor, who had no electoral experience. Corey had reportedly been recruited by an upset Republican delegate whose opponent Meyera supported a year earlier. I recall tightly holding Meyera’s hand on election night as the returns came in. She about squeezed the blood out of my fingers, but to the outside world, she was supremely assured. And she won.
Accept Your Fate – When Meyera finally lost in 2008, she was disappointed but probably not as much as her husband who lived and breathed politics. Frankly Meyera, although she put up a good fight and did not lose by much, was pretty worn out by then and the prospect of running against Will Sessoms, John Moss and Scott Taylor was not one she really relished. Roger, of course, thought she had one more term in her. When it was over, Meyera moved on, even appearing in some funny TV spots I produced for her on behalf of ABNB Federal Credit Union. Roger’s sudden death from an accident in 2012 was horrible, but once again, Meyera, alone and hurting, accepted her fate and moved into Beth Sholom Village and then into an assisted living facility in Charlotte as her Alzheimer’s progressed.
Even as her mind decayed, Meyera loved seeing children, dogs and me (in that order probably). Showing your sunny side, even when the world is collapsing around you, is the last lesson I took away from my life with Meyera. I’m sure I’m not the only one.
